Vegetable biryani at Cochin Restaurant, Finchley

There is an old Hindi saying….  this is an outright lie, I am just pretending to be intellectual.

So let’s start again: There is an old Hindi song that talks about how innocent a moth is – it knows that the fire will bring it pain but it keeps hurling itself into the fire again and again.  Or at least this is what I have been told by a Swedish archaeologist of Indian origin that I met on excavation in Kenya a few years ago. We were sitting by the fire and had a live demonstration of a moth incinerating itself. Mr. Archaeologist started singing this song; I responded with another song of my own on the same theme – and we carried on like this for a week much to the dismay of the Kenyan archaeologists we were with! (PS: isn’t it crazy how all Indian references, probably just mine, are related either to cricket or music?)

Anyway, the moth situation is a bit like us and Cochin Restaurant in Finchley. We go there, again and again and return disappointed. I put this down to the fact that the quality is either absolutely brilliant or rock bottom – so our hopes are raised and then dashed to the earth again.

We went back there to have amongst other things – their Veg Biryani. In fact, we got the biryani home so that we could eat and critique it in peace. And you know what, it wasn’t great at all. If I want to be uncharitable it was just rice mixed with seasoned, frozen vegetables.

Veg biryani at Cochin Restaurant

Here is how it scored:

Rice grain separation: 4/5 (no big deal)

Meat/Veg Harmony: 1/5

Spice blend perfection:  1/5

Potato content: 5/5

Fried onion finish: 4/5

Wet/dry index: Fail

Biryanometer rating: 1/5

How awful is that? I think I am now going to stick to other things on the menu and ABSOLUTELY NOT have their biryanis. Did you hear that?